"SHOOT THEM"!!! Bang!!!

  Soooooooo... there I was, explaining to My Mother (Honor Honor Honor) what I'd been doing with my summer vacation Circa 1972 (about age 7). She hung out the entire summer in the back yard of what I was told was a church. She & her friends gambled there all day on a patio table in the parking lot under a parasol.

  I complained about how I was treated there & just like a mid-Michigan... cop would later she called me a liar.

  My complaint? "All they do is drug me & make me shoot at people all day".

  She informed me my punishment for my lies would be epic, much like many a... cop before & after her.

  Me? Noting the certainty of punishment for accusing... anyone I did what I always do. I doubled down on the truth. I told her I knew she knew that I was telling the truth. Then I explained myself...

  Soooo... there I was. Weeks on end. No sleep, no food, in the heat of the summer the basement of the church was usually comfortable in temperature if a bit damp. Light shone through small windows from above. The church was on the small side, not particularly ornate. The building was always occupied by at least a dozen or so children my age & teens who milled about, each being busy with this task, or that task.

  I too was given tasks. it was often to clean. Lots & lots of mopping the basement over & over. Occasionally, the children played with me.

  Me? I spent my summer months in that church drugged stupid. In a daze I obeyed most commands. Clean this, clean that. Once I was done & there was no one nearby to order me around some of the children played. A little.

  The small children changed from week to week or month to month. They were never the same & once they left I never saw any of them again. Many, nay most of the children were cruel & picked on me a lot. Usually, I turned the other cheek. Not as glamorous as.,.. cops tell me I make it sound.

  Other times I fought. When I was 4 years old to 6 I usually lost against the superior numbers of my attackers & against the weight of the giant teen Jocks.

  Then, I started to win. Not every time. But once in a while I wupped the tar out of my attackers. More & more as I grew older.

  "Go get his Mother". One would ultimately say.

  My Mother usually showed up in less than a minute as a rule. It was the only occasions that I ever saw her run in all the time I knew her. She demanded to know why my opponents had attacked me? No matter what their reason was("David deserved it because he... ), excuse ("we were just playing with David & got carried away"), or boast (I just wanted to hit him. No reason") My Mother announced I deserved punishment & usually slapped me up. 20-30 face slaps was typical though she might often go into the hundreds for no reason that would be the same twice in a row. Then she announced my punishment was a gauntlet. While she never used the word gauntlet I did on occasion. She instructed everyone near. "Okay everyone line up! We're all going to hit David"! What she (or they, my family) could have said was. "Accusation equals guilt! Everyone form a line & hurt David to your heart's content". Just like many a mid-Michigan... cop could've said.

  Cheerfully the assembled children, teens, & adults lined up & following her example delivered an average of 20-30 slaps to my face. If the individual gauntlet enthusiast chose to go into the hundreds the subject wasn't even brought up. Some enthusiasts snuck back into line 2 or 3 times.

  Occasionally some gauntlet enthusiasts told me that slapping me wasn't enough to sate them. "I'm going to mix a few punches (or kicks) in while I'm slapping you". This made my gauntlets more problematic. If I blocked or dodged a blow My Mother (or whatever family member was in charge) would say. "You blocked! Everybody line up again"! Then everyone involved lined up. It wasn't fun to hear that sentence repeated for the 2nd or 3rd time. Not fun at all.

  The punch enthusiasts made the gauntlets challenging. I was permitted to block incoming punches (usually, unless punches was the stated punishment  goal of the gauntlet). The only problem was when I accidentally blocked a slap which happened a bunch. Sometimes when no one announced they intended to punch or kick me. Once a slap was blocked the gauntlet participants were instructed to line up again & we'd start anew. Usually I could just stand in one spot & had discovered that a slight head turn timed at the moment of impact greatly reduced damage from gauntlet blows. It was announced that blocking punches, kicks, & wrestling hold attempts was acceptable. But when the enthusiasts announced they intended to mix in combat blows I might accidentally block a slap. "You blocked! Everybody line up again"! This is true of gauntlets conducted at many places where my family chose to interact with me & was frequent & regular. Mundane.

  Worse was accidentally blocking one of My Mother's attacks in the gauntlet. She might yell. "YOU DARE RAISE YOUR HAND TO ME"?

  I protested. "It was an accident. A reflex block. I didn't mean it". Respectfully & usually as calm as the situation permitted.

  Her ferocity & intensity usually doubled & she nearly always started the gauntlet anew. Screaming & landing blows in the hundreds. Often slamming my head into a metal door or whatever she conducted her interrogations in front of. This was only in the case of an interrogation leading up to a punishment. If found guilty then I could expect a very greatly punishment gauntlet once we moved from investigation/interrogation to the punishment phase I sometimes called a gauntlet.

  Other times they had a man who stood next to me. Usually they had a child laying sleeping on a cot in the basement. The man would load a pistol with a single bullet then hand me the pistol & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the man would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG! Over & over & over. How long? Days? Weeks? Months?

  Usually it was a child my age. The child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

 Over & over & over. How long? Days? Weeks? Months?

  I recall one of the times after I'd complained to my Mother. "All they do is drug me & trick me into killing people". She wasn't too happy about it. In a lengthy speech she explained time & again that If someone was slapping me it could only mean I deserved it. Accusation meant guilt & the application of violence by anyone in the world but myself was a just vigilante act (just like many a mid-Michigan... cop would say to me in so many words). There could be no other logical conclusion. The other people in my life had less flowery explanations of reasons they saw a gauntlet on me justified. Sometimes. "Just for fun". Did I say sometimes? I should've said a lot of times.

  Picture me during my next session...

  The child loads the pistol with a single bullet, hands me the pistol, slaps me in the face. SLAP! Then said. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG!

  Then the child would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! Then say. "Shoot them"! So I shot them. BANG! Over & over.

  Usually it was...

  They would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet & hand me the pistol again & say. "Shoot them"! So I shot whoever they told me to. BANG! Over & over.

  Sometimes...

  They would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! " Say kill".

  So I said. "Kill"!

  Then they said. "Shoot them"!

  So I shot whosoever I was told. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! " Say kill".

  So I said. "Kill"!

  Then they said. "Shoot them"!

  So I shot whosoever I was told. BANG!

  Then they would load the pistol with a single bullet, hand me the pistol, slap me in the face. SLAP! " Say kill".

  So I said. "Kill"!

  Then they said. "Shoot them"!

  So I shot whosoever I was told. BANG! Over & over.

  Then My Cousin & My Mother walked in. I protested through the drugs that this situation was what I was talking about. They made me shoot people all day every day on end. Then they'd take me out into the world & convince dazed & confused me to kill people! Some were PRACTICAL jokes when maybe someone got hurt, but no one died. Others were situations where people died in the way I was commanded to kill them. Others died in more creative ways as I'd improvised either as a consequence of battle or in response to a given PRACTICAL joke's fake weapons, because I knew the knife was a fake or the weapon would fail, so I killed whosoever I was ordered with whatever was at hand in often creative ways. There was no sating the gang's lust for blood & desire to inflict damage on the innocent.

  In my opinion, from what I can recall through the drug & sleep deprivation haze is that... that... I was going to make a point here reader... but instead I'll just say: whatever...

  My Mother called me a liar. Then she conducted a gauntlet using everyone in & around the building she could find. She always had huge smile during gauntlets interrupted only by an angry scowl if I should have a reflex block. Then she instructed me that I should obey my captors & left.

  Later, during an accusation session where I said the fateful.  "All they do is drug me & trick me into killing people".

  My Mother (I feel I should add in a few more honors here. Honor Honor Honor) called me a liar. Now I would be punished. Severely!

  I retorted. I told her that I knew she knew they'd been making me shoot people in the church basement over & over because she'd recently attended a session.

  She gaslighted me & told me that I'd just made it up & announced that for my blatant lie my punishment was to be particularly severe.

  Me? I did what I always did even though it almost always failed me my entire life whenever I chose to use the strategy. I told the truth. I knew she'd been there. She saw me shooting people in a drugged stuppor. She'd stood there until my mind became semi-lucid & then conducted a gauntlet on me when I protested. I pressed the issue.

  Then she broke. She admitted she'd attended the session & saw me shooting at people over & over at the gang's command though she didn't say how long she'd stood there. "But I was there & nobody was hurt". Even. "I saw the films & nobody got hurt". It's only trivia to add it was the same thing I'd hear in the local cOPSHOP very soon from a uniformed & ONDUTY... cop at his post.

  She explained herself. Since no one was hurt in the films that she saw my stories of killing people were impossible.

  Me? I asked her. "What do you think people who make kids shoot at people all day do with their day"? Not that it did me any good to ask anyone that. Her , a film-motivated vigilante, or any film-viewing... cop

  "My Cousin" later mocked me. He explained that he liked to show his films of me shooting people thusly. In the films he showed no one got hurt & it made it easy to explain my accusations away.

  My opinion? The... cops bought the gang's stories every single time when they backed it up with films. Even if I explained the situation before or after they'd seen "the films" & despite me asking.  "What do you think people who make kids shoot at people all day do with their day"?

  Whatever...

​

THE KILLING DECADE... The 80's weren't the decade of greed for me, but the decade of killing...

  I'll write the short version as I'm not in a mood for long writing today.

  I was in the Defunct Hospital in downtown Bay City, not a former place of Mercy but a place where I'd fond myself tortured even as a baby (written in detail in my +1,500 page letter to the FBI where someone dies every few pages) at the corner of McKinley & N. Jackson Streets right there in the corner most room on N. Jackson closest to McKinley (To look at it click on this: https://www.google.com/maps/@43.5945887,-83.8827763,3a,75y,237.72h,83.06t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s6KTOrxUKL_z1h_noviftEw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

  Soooooo... there I was, between torments. Literally in a state of "on ice" according to Duh Jerk. In this condition a cut & bruised or otherwise wounded victim is tied to a hospital bed (using medical equipment & restraints) to heal up, lest they go to the... cOPS with wounds. "The cops will never believe a victim who comes to them with long ago healed wounds". Never were truer words spoken in mid-Michigan.

  Sooooo... there I was, strapped to a bed by medical restraints. Teens & 3 or 4 of the 4 Stars showed up every half hour to engage me in drugged conversation... with a big old camera on a tripod pointed at me in the corner of the hospital room. How'd I know I was in the Defunct Hospital? I looked out the window on occasions where I stood, when they took me to or from gang rapes sometimes they transferred me in an Ambulance & in full view of pedestrians who I begged for help by pointing out that the Hospital had been out of business for years by now. A few said they'd call the... cops. I watched Dirty Cop himself aproach & interrogate some right there on the south side of the building who's attention I'd gotten. He bragged/whined that my trying to get help only brought & spread misery as I was a special case. If any witnesses saw me struggling they were next in the gang's recruitment apparatus. If I'd just shut up & quit begging for help less innocents would have their lives ruined by becoming witnesses to the scene of my kidnapping, to the scene of the crime. I met a few later from time to time & they screamed insults & threats at me based on having been recruited by the gang because they saw... me in various states of kidnap, dismay, or violence.

  I'm sick of typing, someone dies... horribly as I cut them up... slowly.

  To be continued...